What exactly is an overlapping relationship? Is it healthy or not?
Overlapping relationships
are unhealthy and can definitely be defined as cheating on your partners
because you are in two committed relationships at one time. Is this
classified as polygamy? Technically it's not because polygamy is defined
as having two or more "spouses" at one time and this current
discussion pertains to overlapping "dating"
relationships.
So, why do most people participate in overlapping
relationships? It's pretty simple, really. They are co-dependent
and are afraid of "being single."
They don't want to be alone and are afraid
of being alone. So, if one
relationship is on the verge of ending, these "over lappers" will
stay in that relationship, even though it may be very difficult and tense,
until they can find a substitute partner. Once they find this prospective partner,
they will continue in the old and the new relationship until they are sure that
this new partner will make the grade and is a keeper. Of course, their
behavior is unknown to either of the two partners.
So, what are some of the dangers of these overlapping
relationships and why should this person seek counseling and then possibly
enlist the help of a dating
professional to find a compatible partner? The
first and most obvious danger is that the culprit is lying to two innocent
people and does not think this is wrong and unhealthy behavior, but rather
rationalizes his or her actions. Some people are in overlapping
relationships throughout their entire dating seeking career and there is
something inherently wrong with that picture. It's absolutely not healthy
and promotes neither emotional growth nor intimacy. Whatever supposed
intimacy exists is all built upon a lie.
Another danger is the
fact that as an over lapper, you will be in a state of constant tension and
stress. Talk about trying to juggle, you will definitely be doing that;
especially because you have two people who are both expecting to have your full
time and attention, but will be getting shafted instead. There may be
surface benefits to you, as the over lapper, but this behavior in no way benefit
the other two partners involved, nor will it benefit you in the long wrong.
These situations can be further aggravated if one of the partners
you, as an over lapper, start to date is already married or has his or her own
estranged partner and now more people are involved in the circle of unhealthy
love that is going around. Do yourself a favor and seek out professional
help with a counselor to
work through your issues of not being able to be single. Being single is not equivalent to having the
plague. Being single can be a glorious time of
self-introspection if you let it be. If you end a relationship, it is so
much better to be alone for a while to go through the grieving process and
rebound dating is bad enough without adding overlapping dating to the mix.
Once you have worked through your issues with a professional counselor, it may be time for you to
think about working with a dating
professional to
aid in your search for
a compatible dating partner, without participating in overlapping dating.
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